Overthinking

IT’S ALL MOUNTAINS & MOLEHILLS

How many times after a situation have you sat back and thought to yourself, yep was totally overthinking that?

When I was naming my business it was such a long process, it literally took me months and I drove people nuts in the process, “what about this” “what do you think about…” I’d ask several folks, some would come back that they loved it others would come back they don’t and some would come back with reasons why it might not work (because everyone is different and you can’t possibly fit everyone and THAT’S OK! – another blog in there). I have enough business names and logos for near 100 businesses as a result of that process.

One conversation with my friend Louise, turned it around for me:

“you know it’s about turning things around, it’s putting a positive twist on things, you know like Making a Mountain out of a Molehill or A Storm in A TeaCup why do they need to be negative?

Think about the effort and achievement if that mole turned its wee hill in to a mountain, it’s already had to dig its way through what seems a mountain to stick its head above ground! And that wee storm in the teacup, how powerful is that storm in that teacup?

It’s going to be about turning things around for people and putting a positive twist on things wherever I can, helping people look at things differently in ways maybe they hadn’t thought about”

“What about that then, Positive Twists?” she says

oooo yeh that’s good!! I like that! That’s really good and it fits!

She breathed in a way that said well thank F for that she’s sorted!

So struggle over!?

No it wasn’t over I had to go around everyone again and ask them what they thought, and think about it some more until Louise (and a few others lol) pointed out I was totally overthinking it and it had gone on too long now. I was looking for problems where there didn’t have to be any! I was stopping myself from moving on! I was getting in my own way!

She was right. Bish Bash Bosh the name was set (the logo is another story).

Here We Go Again!

I remember another time not so long ago, Emma Holmes telling me I was overthinking something and my instant reaction inside was to tell her where to get off.

This was something that was really important, it was tied up with all kinds of emotions.

The second I heard the phrase, I didn’t really hear much else and in my head I was thinking “oh here we go!”

Not This Time!

Now, I could have used that as a reason to stop. To not move forward, to fall in to the pity party and “this will never work” But NO, not this time!

I finished the conversation and sat back and thought about why I was being told that. Was I overthinking it? Most likely I was, but WHY? What was causing me to get stuck?

So I thought about it, ripped apart the “problem” in the form of a lot of WHY questions and some brainstorming and I found myself still feeling stuck but this time I was able to explain it better. I had a better understanding and I wasn’t going to answer with “I don’t know”, I was able to actually put it in to words.

So I went back to Emma, presented my issue differently and Emma gave me a golden nugget! She didn’t do the work for me, she didn’t tell me I was overthinking it, she just made me look at the situation in a different light – she put a positive twist on it for me!

BOOM the gates were open! That was all I needed in that moment to get unstuck.

What Happened?

In both these situations I could see what had happened. I deal with it all the time. I help people look at things differently, put a spin, a Positive Twists on things. It’s what I’m good at, but here I was STUCK! Stuck in my own head, stuck in the emotion, stuck thinking I was stupid because I couldn’t get passed it.

Why could I do it so easily for other people but couldn’t do it for myself? Because I was stuck!

Because I had told myself I couldn’t do it. I questioned every aspect of it. I second guessed myself and my confidence started to wobble.

What would people think? What if it wasn’t right, what if I turned people off… what if what if what if?!

I had spent too long thinking about it. Too long making scenarios in my head about the reaction it would or wouldn’t get. I was stopping myself moving forward because this was keeping me stuck, I wasn’t opening myself up to success or failure. I wasn’t doing anything! I was going around in painful circles driving myself nuts. that’s what I was doing.

I needed reassurance from someone I knew would be honest with me, I needed confirmation that I was right or at least on the right track. I just needed a nudge and some clarity!

Are you overthinking it?

Do you just need a wee nudge forward, a starting point or is there something deeper that you haven’t explored and need help with?

Do you just want someone to give you the answer and do it for you? If that’s the case you will always find yourself stuck! (unless off course it’s something that can be outsourced)

How long have you been trying to force the situation? Have you taken any time away from it to think about something else? I know this isn’t always easy because when you get in to that headspace you can’t think about anything else and it’s hard to switch off. Try to focus on something creative something imaginative that really draws your attention away.

Are you imposing rules on the situation that don’t need to be there? What it should look like, feel like, smell like? Rules were meant to be broken, right? Just because someone said it had to be done a specific way, is there another way that it can be done? Someone could be crying out for the way you’re going to do it!

I have artist friends that get stuck looking at a blank canvas. As a way of stopping this block they simply mark the page, abracadabra it’s no longer blank, they’ve made a mark. Nothing is set in stone (unless it’s set in stone, then it can always be broken out!) Things can change as you go forward!

Are you comparing what you’re trying to do to how someone else does it or how they’ve made it look? Are you trying to force something that doesn’t fit you and what you stand for because it’s what everyone else seems to be doing, because it’s what’s expected?

Are you creating scenarios in your own mind that are unfounded? What are you scared of in this situation? What is the worst thing that could happen and is it a real possibility or just fear talking? What’s the best thing that could happen, are you scared or worried about that? Is there anything you can do or put in place to reduce those fears becoming a reality?

Is not doing anything keeping you safe? How? What’s it keeping you safe from (see previous point)

Do you just need to talk it through with someone? Sometimes hearing it out loud, actually saying it brings all the clarity you need and sometimes you just need someone to bounce off and talk it through with. Sometimes you just need someone to ask you a simple question for it all to make sense.

If you think I can help you gain clarity, see things differently, get unstuck then please do get in touch

 

 

 

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