“ok, well let’s see how we get on this morning and take it from there”
She knew fine well!
That was my opening line, after Hi I’m Kerry nice to meet you, when I first met a counsellor years ago.
After about 5 minutes that was it, I didn’t stop talking for the next hour. I walked out of that office and felt lighter, hopeful and relieved. For the next 6 weeks I didn’t stop talking to that lady.
The Discomfort & Embarrassment
You see, by the time I got to her, I already had a huge toolkit of training, experiences, theories, methods, resources. Not to mention a network of really supportive family and friends. Able to analyse myself, I knew what was going on.
I knew the value and huge benefits of asking for help. Hell it was my job. No, it was more than that, it was my life. BUT, I still felt funny, awkward, a bit ridiculous and almost embarrassed to be honest.
“I’m done, I’m stuck, this is too much, I can’t cope right now!” I argued with myself for a good while – I should be able to sort this, I’m the one other people come to for help, I should be able to deal with this, stop being ridiculous it’s fine, get a grip, I know how to deal with this – BUT I CAN’T.
Unable to sleep, I couldn’t think straight. Anger and worry were consuming my every day. This anger I was feeling wasn’t like me.
Those close to me knew something was going on. Nonetheless I wouldn’t talk to them, often freezing them out and I felt bad about that.
The Blocks & Stories
I know it’s tough to ask for help, even when you know the value of it. Your ability to come up with excuses and reasons as to why you don’t need it would be impressive if it wasn’t a problem.
You try convincing yourself it will pass, you keep trying to push through… until you can’t!
Sometimes you can’t even put into words why or where you’re stuck, how you’re feeling or what you need. Leaving you feeling like you can’t ask for something if you don’t know what to ask for.
You can’t afford it.
The timing isn’t right.
You’ll be fine…really?
When people knew I was going for Counselling I heard a lot of “you know you can talk to me”. Yes off course I knew there were people in my life I could talk to, but I couldn’t!
The relief I felt after that first session will never leave me.
Just knowing that hour was for me.
That this woman was not going to judge me.
I wasn’t going to upset her.
She wouldn’t discuss it with anyone else.
That she had the skills to take this ball of mess and chaos, heartache, confusion, doubt, shame, overwhelm and pure shit, that had engulfed my every waking moment and help me work through it. And that she wouldn’t look at me any differently for it.
She wouldn’t cry, or want to hug me. I didn’t need a hug right then, that was just too much. There would be no patronising me.
She wasn’t going to tell me everything was going to be ok and brush over the fact that right now it didn’t feel like that.
Without the need to fix me, she was going to listen and let me get it all out. And then, she was going to help me make sense of it, deal with it and move on … From that part anyway!
I could breath.
Ask For Help! Even If You Feel Uncomfortable!
That woman helped me! She knew from the minute those words left my lips on that first session, that her sessions were going to help!
Even though it might feel uncomfortable, awkward and you might feel embarrassed, please don’t keep going around in those circles feeling lost.
When you’re stuck in your own head it impacts everything you do, think, see, feel and believe. Don’t let it!
Save Pin As A Reminder ⤵
Reach out and get that help. Find someone that will truly hold that space for you and help you work through whatever is going on. Whether it’s in business or life (or both), whether it’s 1 session or a block. Alternative and holistic treatments, therapies, coaching, counselling… Whatever the support format best suits you and what you need right now, reach out and get it.
And if something hasn’t worked for you before, don’t give up! There is something and someone out there that is offering what you need.
Until Next Time, Keep Smiling